Life Is A Highway
by APerfectGrace
Summary: AU. One shots. A series of glimpses into the lives of the Game of Thrones characters, if they lived in the modern world. 14. Sometimes, you find fans in the most unexpected of places.
1. Fruit Ninja

_Hello, and welcome!_

_This is my first story-esque piece of writing: I came up with the idea while writing Angry Lace. Always the way, start one thing, think of another, and another..._

_I got a notion of these literary windows into the GoT world but written from a modern perspective. Going to work, using the train, going clubbing, babysitting, all that jazz. By the time I published this I already had four chapters in the making!_

_**A word of warning:** these chapters are NOT linear to one another, and they do NOT coincide in the same world, so to speak. In other words, one chapter may talk about Sansa and Joffrey being a couple whereas in the next they may have never met. Please bear this in mind when reading, to avoid any confusion._

_There aren't any set pairings; one is just as likely as the other. Pairings may be directly written or implied. Characters may appear once or frequently. Chapters will range from a short paragraph to several pages. Adult language and suggested themes will be present at points, but will not be in every chapter. _

_Now that all the boring stuff is out the way, enjoy and get reading!_

**_Disclaimer:_**_ I do not own anything from Game of Thrones. It is George R. R. Martin's work._

* * *

Ned set his gaze on each one of his offspring, who were currently sprawled all around the living room. They looked back at him expectantly, wondering what was so important that he needed to talk to them during the middle of their film.

"You are my children. You are the apples of my eye, the cherries of my cake, the fruit of my loins, the seed of my – well, your mother's womb."

Arya gagged and Sansa grimaced in a very unladylike manner. Rickon looked at a green-looking Bran, who shook his head, unwilling to explain to his brother what was just said. There was never a time where it would _ever_ be okay to hear about their father's virility.

Ned carried on, regardless of the uncomfortable feeling now present in the air.

"I love each and every one of you. I'm proud of all of your achievements and know that you all have a bright future ahead of you."

Theon raised an eyebrow. They all directed sideward glances towards each other, suddenly suspicious of where this conversation was heading.

"I support all your interests, whether they're medical–" he nodded towards Robb, "–or musical." His gaze shifted to Jon, who smiled warily at him.

"I've brought you up to be gifted, unique people and I couldn't be more proud to call myself your father."

Jon leaned in towards Robb. "High?" He shrugged.

"You bring me joy every day."

Rickon beamed, oblivious to the fact that his father never complimented his children. Bran found himself touched at Ned's words. Sansa and Theon squinted at Ned, uncertain.

"I couldn't ask for better children."

The room was silent, and even though it felt like a trap, they couldn't help but feel a little glow of pride from their father's words.

"But, let's get one thing straight," Ned added, his tone changing instantaneously. "The love that I bear for you will not save you from the dire consequences that you face should any one of you screw up the recording for Downton Abbey's episode tonight. You have been warned."

With that, he swiftly left the room, leaving everyone bereft and a little shocked.

Theon blinked. "Blimey."

"Well," Robb coughed. "That was a little unexpected."

"Jesus," Arya remarked. "It's only a bloody show."

"It is_ not_ a bloody show!" Ned's heated voice answered from the kitchen.

Jon rolled his eyes.

"Can we get back to The Avengers, please?" Bran moaned, reaching for the popcorn.

"Mmm, yeah. At least that's something worth watching," Sansa responded.

"Unlike the crap that Dad watches," Arya smirked.

An orange flew into the living room and sailed over their heads, making them jump. "I do _not_ watch crap!"

"Jesus Christ!" Theon yelped, looking at the corner of the room where the orange had splattered and slid down the side of the sofa where Arya and Sansa were sitting.

"You're a grown man, Dad!" Jon yelled towards the open door.

"And if you want to become one, heed my words! DOWNTON ABBEY SHALL BE RECORDED!"

"Do you ever get the feeling that we're adopted?" Bran asked.

"What, you mean like Theon?" Sansa asked.

Theon threw some popcorn at her. "Hey!"

"Theon doesn't count. He's too weird."

He threw a cushion at Robb.

"Theon isn't adopted. He's clearly inherited Dad's penchant for throwing things at us."

An apple whizzed into the living room, hitting the wall and exploding everywhere. Rickon squealed in fright and Arya swore.

"This family is _insane_," Robb sighed, putting his head in his hand.

"Mum is going to kill you if you ruin her wallpaper!" Sansa shouted, fluffing up her cushion.

"I'll tell her one of you did it!" Ned replied cheerfully.

"We'll cancel Downton Abbey!" Theon yelled.

"Then it will be you exploding on the wallpaper!"

"For once, can you just act like a normal parent?" Arya asked, exasperated.

"Good luck with that," Bran murmured.

"Avengers!" Rickon cried.

Jon shook his head, picking up the remote.


	2. Freaky Deaky

_Because Ned and Cat need some lovin'. Literally._

_Suggested sexual themes and adult profanity ahead. Read on at your own will._

* * *

"I cannot_ believe_ you two!" Edmure shouted, waving his arms about.

"Sir, if you could calm down, I need you to sign these release papers," the police officer remarked, handing him a pen and a paper.

He sighed and leant against the counter, signing the first of many needed signatures on the small book of paperwork.

Tyrion looked at Ned and Cat, drinking in the sight of their dishevelled hair, Cat's smeared make-up, the tear in Ned's shirt. Cersei was laughing, and Robert was furious. Cat surreptitiously pulled the sleeve of her cardigan back on, and Ned had found something extremely interesting to look at upon the ceiling.

"Thank you," the officer said, as Edmure handed the paperwork back to him.

"Thank you," Edmure replied, "and I cannot stress enough how grateful we are that you aren't pressing charges." He whipped his head around to stare at his sister and her husband. "_Aren't we?"_

"Grateful," Ned repeated.

"So grateful," Cat croaked.

"Yes, well, be that as it may, you better make sure it doesn't happen again or next time, there'll be worse consequences than a warning." With that, he bid them good day and turned back the way he had come, disappearing between the huge, metal doors.

Edmure breathed an audible sigh of relief, before returning to the matter at hand.

"You were caught having sex," he stated in a low voice.

If anything, Cersei began to laugh even harder than before. Cat's cheeks had turned a delicate shade of pink, and Ned flushed a dark shade of plum.

"You were caught having sex. _In a cinema."_

Ned winced. The love bite on the side of his neck that Cat had so nicely bestowed upon him was colouring into a brilliant shade of purple.

"You were caught having sex, in the middle of a film, surrounded by other people. _What the hell is wrong with you?_"

"What film was it?" Tyrion piped up.

That broke the tension in the air; everyone looked at him like he had grown three heads.

"What?" Robert asked, annoyed.

"What film was it?" he repeated slowly, as if they had asked him what day it was.

"Why does that matter?" Edmure shot back.

He shrugged. "The film can often provide an appropriate ambiance for such… trysts."

"It's irrelevant," Robert snapped. "What_ is_ relevant is the fact that I just had to bail you both out for acting like horny teenagers!"

"We're so, _so _sorry," Ned replied contritely, Cat nodding along.

Robert fixed him with a heated stare. "You're so lucky that you're my best friend, Ned, or I'd deck you one right now."

"I can't _wait _to get to the office tomorrow," Cersei sighed happily.

Cat groaned, and Ned coughed uncomfortably.

"What the hell am I supposed to tell people?" Edmure said heatedly, looking at the both of them.

"That you had to come and bail your brother-in-law out for doing perverted things to your sister?" Tyrion suggested. He glared at him.

"Fuck that!" Robert snorted. "The kids are beside themselves with worry back home! Who's going to tell _them?_"

"DIBS!" Cersei and Tyrion yelled simultaneously.


	3. Vital Information

_Okay, so this is going to be my last update for a while as I'm off to work at a film convention until next Tuesday so no updates until then._

_Not to fret, the next two chapters are all ready for your reading pleasure so you won't have long to wait!_

* * *

The door suddenly flew open, slamming against the wall with an ear-shattering bang. Sam, Jon and Joffrey jumped in fright, their eyes turning swiftly to the open doorway which now revealed a gleeful Arya. They all stared at her, silent save only for the frantic thumping of their hearts thanks to her unexpected entrance.

"Theon listens to Britney Spears!" she cried breathlessly, her smile practically splitting her face in half.

Joffrey began to laugh hysterically.

"Excellent," Jon answered, grinning.

Sam looked horrified.


	4. Painting The Town Red

_I'm baaaaaaacckk! :)_

_Oh my God, that was such a crazy week; I am totally knackered. I need to sleep for a week!_

_As I have promised: TA-DA! New chapter!_

_Thank you all for your amazing feedback - the favs, follows and reviews are very much appreciated!_

_I'm finding it very easy to write the Stark children. They are definitely my favourites._

_And Joffrey. That hilarious dude… he cracks me up big time._

_The inspiration for this chapter was a moment when I had an image pop into my head of Joffrey singing in a dramatic THIS IS MY MOMENT OF FAME way and it was so hilarious that I just had to turn it into something._

* * *

"No, n-no, _no_ – I told you, I don't want to – _no_, let me_ go_," Jon pleaded in a low voice, grunting in his effort to get away.

He struggled furiously, twisting and turning, but Robb and Theon had vice-like grips on his arm, and were steering him through the dancing crowd towards the stage, where a drunken Joffrey was gyrating on the stage as he tested his microphone. He looked over his shoulder and saw Daenerys wave at him from the bar, grinning from ear to ear while Margaery was practically laughing herself into a coma.

"It will be fine!" Theon replied cheerfully, pulling him closer to the dimly lit platform.

"You'll be great! Gotta get experience somehow!" Jon could practically hear the smirk in Robb's voice as he pushed him forwards.

He could see Sansa on stage whispering to Loras while he flicked a few switches on his decks. Trust it to be Loras' night to DJ; otherwise they never would have been able to do what they were trying to force Jon to do. Joffrey was shaking his body about whilst eyeing up Sansa, taking full advantage of her short skirt. If Jon hadn't felt utterly terrified, he might have clocked Joffrey around the head for staring at his sister in such a lewd way. Instead, he felt like he was going to hyperventilate.

"I hate you, I hate you all, I hate you so, so much, I hate you," he muttered, repeating it like his own personal mantra.

"Oh, shut up, you sound like an old woman," Robb laughed at him.

No amount of squirming could break him free, and his mind was foggy with panic.

He didn't remember climbing the stairs but suddenly he was on stage with Robb and Theon clasping each of his wrists and the crowd was cheering and Joffrey was clapping him on the back and slurring and Sansa was pointing to something on Loras' screen and nodding enthusiastically and Loras was beaming and winking at him–

"Knock 'em dead!" Theon yelled, before he and Robb jumped off the stage and disappeared back to the bar.

He was free now, but having a hundred pairs of eyes on him rooted him to the ground. He couldn't leave if he tried; it was like his feet were superglued to the floor.

"GO ON, JON!" Daenerys screamed, making him flush in embarrassment.

Sansa shuffled over to him in her sky-high stilettos, handed him the microphone, and walked past Joffrey, who grabbed her for a passionate kiss. Wolf-whistles filled the air at the sight of their embrace and Sansa grinned against his lips, pulling away and winking at him as she left. Joffrey winked back at her, biting his lips as he watched her sashay away.

Jon looked behind him at a smirking Loras, a murderous glint in his eyes.

"I will kill you," he mouthed. Loras gave him a thumbs up, the other hand on his headphones.

He looked back towards the crowd and in the distance spotted his so-called friends and brothers beaming at him like utter idiots and waiting for him to do something.

Do what? Scream? Cry? Faint? Punch someone? He had a few people in mind for that last one.

In all honesty, it was like a sick joke. A talented musician with an amazing voice, unbelievable personality, great looks, brilliant dress sense… and stage fright.

Stage fright. Every performer's worst bloody nightmare.

Jon was pretty sure that the universe was conspiring against him.

He breathed in deeply.

_I'm going to do this, then I'm going to throw up, and then I'm going to kill them all. Or maybe I'll kill them, and then throw up. Or just throw up while I kill them. Fuck it, someone has to die. I need to feel better somehow._

Suddenly, a bass was pumping, and a melody was flowing through the speakers, and Jon's eyes closed in dread as he recognised the song. Joffrey roared at the opening bars and started dancing even more, the crowd jumping up and down with him.

"I'M FEELIN' SEXY AND FREEEEEE, LIKE GLITTER'S RAININ' ON MEEEEEE!" Joffrey screamed, jerking about and waving his arms like a demented idiot. "YOU'RE LIKE A SHOT OF PURE GOLD, I THINK I'M 'BOUT TO EXPLOOOOOODE!"

Jon blinked, terrified.

Joffrey scared him at the best of times, but_ this_… This was a whole new level that normal people should never be subjected to. The lyrics were extremely appropriate – Joffrey really _did _look like he was about to explode.

He just looked so… _dramatic_. He was so lost in the song that it didn't even matter that there was zero coordination between his arms and legs. He was currently singing about clouds and running and he just looked like he belonged in Priscilla: Queen of the Desert.

Daenerys was propped up by the bar she was laughing so hard, and Robb was filming everything on his phone, a goofy grin plastered across his face. Margaery and Theon had their arms around each other, dancing in time to the music, a hundred and ten per cent drunk up to the eyeballs.

"YOU GO, BABY!" Sansa screamed, jumping up and down like a groupie.

Joffrey heard her and blew her a kiss whilst singing.

Suddenly, Joffrey's line was ending, and it was Jon's turn.

He took a deep breath.

_You can do this. You can do this; you need to do this. You can do this, and if you can't, you can strangle Loras with his headphones after and make yourself feel a lot better._

He started to sing.


	5. After Hours

_Favourites and reviews are always appreciated… hint, hint :)_

_Special mention to anyone who correctly guesses who Daenerys is dressed as!_

* * *

Professor Tywin Lannister stretched, rising from his desk and gathering his things, getting ready to leave his office. Being a professor of physics was a stressful and continuous job. What was that saying about no rest for the wicked?

He yawned as he snapped his briefcase shut and grabbed his coat. It was getting chilly now; more often than not the University of Westeros was shrouded in a thin, dewy mist most mornings. He silently thanked the gods (for the thousandth time) that he had the best heater money could buy safely tucked in the corner of his office; the Physics wing could get ridiculously cold.

He shrugged his coat on, headed towards the door and opened it.

All of a sudden, several things happened at once.

A soft-toy in the shape of a dragon flew past his line of sight, a loud scream pierced the air and a flash of green emanated from Professor Walder Frey's office four doors down.

Out of the blue, one of his students appeared out of nowhere from somewhere to his left.

Samwell Tarly was running as fast as he could down the corridor, puffing and wheezing with exertion. He was dressed in a toga, was sporting lime green hair and had a look of sheer determination on his red face. As he neared towards Tywin, he nodded towards him.

"Professor," he huffed respectfully, before carrying on past him.

No sooner had Samwell disappeared then a second boy appeared, clad in nothing but boxers covered in squids and grinning widely, revealing a set of crooked teeth. He was wielding what Tywin sincerely hoped was a rubber axe. He ran past Tywin without paying him the slightest bit of attention, slowing only to pick up the dragon plushie from the floor and vanishing from sight.

A second scream filtered the air, making Tywin jump violently.

Bringing up the rear of this extraordinary encounter was that bloody Targaryen girl,_ again_.

He cursed inwardly. Every time something strange or annoying happened, this Daenerys was always there. He was getting sick of seeing her everywhere; he saw her more than some of his own bloody students.

She was dressed like a warrior. She was clad in a leather bra that was connected to black shoulder armour and decorated with round metal studs. Her torso was bare, and her hips were covered by a black leather fringe skirt, spotted with the same studs. She had a scar painted across her face, starting from the right side of her forehead downwards across her nose and stopping at her left cheek. She was barefoot and was brandishing a sword. She had a triumphant look about her face, her long, blonde hair cascading in waves behind her. There was something unsettling about the wild, crazed look in her eyes.

She screamed again and raced towards the direction of Samwell and the squid boy.

"HERE COMES TROUBLE!" she cackled, running past Tywin and rounding the corner.

After a long moment of staring down the corridor and trying to process what happened, he headed back into his office, strode towards the cupboard next to the bookstand, pulled out the good whiskey that he saved for very rare occasions, popped open the bottle and took a long, satisfying drink.

_I need to find a new job._


	6. Blue Brienne

"I said left _then_ right," Tyrion sighed into his mobile, shaking his head.

"What's going on?" Petyr asked as he entered the room.

Tyrion put a hand over the receiver. "Brienne and Jaime got lost because she can't follow simple instructions."

A loud garble of expletives erupted from the phone, making Tyrion blink in shock.

Petyr raised his eyebrows. "I think she heard you."

Tyrion looked at the phone, impressed. He wasn't aware that Brienne even knew half of those words. By the string of words bursting forth from the speaker, it was clear that she was severely pissed off.

By the time she had finished screaming at him, both he and Petyr were silent.

"Well," Petyr coughed. "We might want to get a move on and head over to the centre, or if Brienne gets a hold of you she may actually find a screwdriver and a claw hammer."

Tyrion murmured his agreement.

"I had no idea that she even knew the 'c' word. Your brother seems to be rubbing off on her mannerisms."

"Trust me, that's not all that Jaime is rubbing off of," he responded, getting up.

Petyr tutted.


	7. I Hate Mondays

Ygritte stormed into the common room, followed by a scowling Renly, who was rubbing the side of his face and shooting daggers at the redhead.

She marched across the room, bypassing most of the students occupying various tables and plonked herself down on Robb and Gendry's table, causing them to look up at her.

"What's up with you two?" Gendry asked as Renly appeared and sat down sullenly.

Robb noticed that he was seated opposite Ygritte, who had her arms folded and was staring at him, her jaw clenched.

"She hit me because I got the 'Addams Family' theme song stuck in her head," Renly growled, moving his hand away to reveal a bright red mark across his right cheek.

"Dude," Robb said, laughing at the absurdity of it.

"Who even does that?" he replied angrily.

"Ygritte does," Gendry said knowingly.

"That's because Ygritte is fucking crazy," Renly shot back, slamming his folders on the table, narrowing his eyes at her smug smirk.

"Well, you know she's strange. Weird. Mysterious. And spooky. Altogether loopy–"

Robb yelled and ducked for cover as she grabbed one of Renly's folders and chucked it at him in fury.

"Damn it, woman!" Renly cried as Robb started laughing from under the table. "Are you on your period or something?"

Gendry winced as Ygritte's eyes closed to mere slits. "Ren, you never, _never _ask a girl if she's on her period!"

"_Run_," she spat.

Renly bolted.

Robb emerged just in time to see Ygritte give chase after him. As he seated himself again, Arya waltzed up, sucking on a sherbet lemon.

"What the hell was that?" she asked, gesturing to the rapidly disappearing Ygritte and Renly.

Gendry shrugged. "Monday morning?"


	8. Incy Wincy

_The perks of a having a day off: writing five chapters of this series in one day._

_Review and favourites are greatly appreciated, folks!_

* * *

A high pitched scream suddenly filled the air, causing Sansa to drop the cup of tea she had just made. The mug clattered against the floor, spilling hot liquid everywhere, but she barely noticed it as she was already heading for the front door.

She wrenched the door open and jumped across the corridor, pushing the door to Flat 4 wide open. It banged against the wall, but she hardly heard it because a second scream was piercing her eardrums. She ran to the living room where the source of the noise was. Her mind was racing with a million thoughts, and none of them were good.

She was expecting broken bones, blood, dead bodies, something ghastly.

She was expecting upturned furniture, shattered glass, splintered wood.

That was not what she was faced with when she entered the living room of Flat 4.

Everything was fine. No one had broken in, the furniture was where it was supposed to be, there was no blood, no broken glass, no blood… Everything was exactly as it was when she was here in the morning. It was exactly as was expected.

However…

She was not expecting to witness Gendry standing on the table, his face chalk white with fear.

She was not expecting Sam curled up on the armchair trembling like an autumn leaf, frantically searching the floor with his eyes.

She was not expecting Loras draped around Sam like tinsel wrapped around a Christmas tree.

"What the hell is going on? What's happened?" she demanded, poised to attack whatever was making the screaming happen.

The three of them noticed her and started shouting and yelling all at once, making her ears ring painfully. "One at a time!"

They whimpered and, instead of repeating themselves, stayed silent. Gendry pointed, with a shaking finger, to the bottom right hand of the sofa, in an effort to convey what was wrong.

She walked over from behind it to face whatever they were scared of.

_Blood? Weapon? Body part?_

There, against the bottom, between the carpet and the red material of the sofa, was a small spider about the size of a fingernail.

A spider.

Not a body part. Not something that would cause the destruction of the earth.

A bloody spider that was so small it could practically be invisible.

She looked up at them in disbelief.

"Are you fucking serious?" she cried, panic melting away into anger. "I thought someone had died!"

"We could have!" Loras whined, frightened. "It might be poisonous!"

She suppressed the urge to strangle them.

_Breathe, girl, breathe._

"Sansaaaaaaa," Gendry cried, hopping up and down on the table in terror. "_Do something!_"

She looked at Loras, then Sam, then Gendry, who were all looking at the spider like it was sent from hell and were staring at her like she was their saving grace.

"Of course," she smiled, before turning on her heel and walking out.

She inwardly chuckled as she heard the petrified protests as she shut the door on her way out.


	9. Happy Halloween

_Belated Halloween chapter, enjoy!_

* * *

Jaime was fixing his armour, Catelyn had the sweets ready for the trick-or-treaters and Stannis was hanging up some last minute cobwebs.

"Damn this bloody sword," Jaime grumbled, twisting the sheath around.

"What's wrong?" Cat asked, pouring a tub of fun-sized chocolate bars into the pumpkin, filling it to the brim with candy.

"It keeps getting in the way. I'm going to take someone's eye out."

"You chose the costume," Stannis reminded him, hanging up a plastic spider.

"Some of us wanted a cool costume, not a quick and easy one," Jaime retorted, eyeing up his simple yet effective Dracula costume.

"Some of us would prefer not to have the ability to conduct electricity, tin man," he shot back, making Jaime glare at him.

"It's a knight's costume, _actually_."

"Could have fooled me."

"Don't forget your fangs," Cat said nonchalantly, handing him the plastic teeth.

Cersei walked into the kitchen, scowling.

"What's up with you?" Jaime asked.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

Stannis and Catelyn looked up in confusion towards the living room, where the noise had originated from.

"Tyrion," Cersei grumbled, by way of explanation.

"DRINK UP ME HEARTIES, YO HO!"

"Shut up, damn it!" she yelled in the direction of the door. "You're giving me a headache and it isn't even seven thirty!"

"Arrrrrr, have a drink, ye ol' wench!"

"Where's Ned?" she asked, ignoring her merry brother.

"Picking Robert from the airport," Cat replied, smoothing the pleats of her long skirt.

"Yo, ho, yo, ho, a pirate's life for meeeee," sang Tyrion happily.

"I need a drink," Cersei sighed.

"Well, it is a party," Stannis commented, handing her a bottle of beer. "Drink up."

"AARRRR! Who be my first mate? I'll make ya walk the plank, ya scallywag!"

Cat frowned in annoyance. "Does he even know what he's saying?"

"Of course I do, ya salty wench!" She rolled her eyes.

Stannis watched in fascination as Cersei drank her beer in a slow, continuous swallow. When she came up for air, the bottle was empty.

"Bloody hell," he said, impressed.

"Where be the rum? Aye, why's the rum always gone?"

Cersei smirked. "Well, you see, the alcohol makes me feel a little better, and now I have an empty bottle to smash over Tyrion's head, which will make me feel a _lot_ better. Win, win."

"Not for Tyrion," Jaime observed.

"You Lannisters are in a league of your own," Stannis snorted.

"Oh, Tyriiooooooon," Cersei sang, waltzing towards the living room, the glass bottle hidden behind her back. "Trick or treaaaaat…"


	10. Knock, Knock

"I have another one!" Jaime piped up.

Cersei groaned. "Jaime–"

"'Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!' 'Pull yourself together, man!'"

He burst out laughing at his own joke.

She just glared at him. "I seriously cannot believe I shared a womb with you."


	11. Dirty Little Secret

Ned and Cat were cosied up on the sofa, waiting for the film to begin. All of a sudden, the front door slammed open and a flurry of voices entered the house, arguing furiously with one another.

Ned sighed, his peaceful mood shattered.

Jon and Robb stormed into the living room, dragging an upset and annoyed Arya with them.

"What's going on?" Cat asked, perplexed.

"Arya has a boyfriend!" Robb and Jon yelled at the same time.

"WHAT?" Ned roared, standing up.

"What's going on?" Sansa asked in a mystified tone, entering the living room.

"Arya may or may not be about to die," Jon answered.

"We'll keep you posted," Robb added.

"You have a boyfriend?" Cat probed.

"You have a _boyfriend?_" Ned repeated, outraged.

"_You _have a boyfriend?" Sansa questioned, her jaw dropping in shock.

"Yes, I have a bloody boyfriend!" Arya cried, throwing her hands up in the air. "I'm seventeen! I'm a girl and I'm interested in boys! Why is this such a shock to all of you?"

"Because it's you!" Robb shouted.

She glared at him sourly. "Gee, thanks. You were never this bad when Sansa got her boyfriend!"

"That's because Joffrey is a law unto himself, and we never need to worry about him hurting Sansa because he's more likely to end up hurting himself," Jon explained.

Sansa grinned, nodding in agreement, before realising that Jon was insulting her boyfriend. "Hey!"

"You are not allowed a boyfriend!" Ned demanded. "I forbid it!"

"You also forbid Sansa to get a tattoo, and yet here we are."

Ned whirled around to Sansa so fast he almost left skidmarks. "You have a _tattoo?_"

If looks could kill, Arya would be stone cold dead right now. "_Arya!_"

"Hey, if I'm going down, I'm taking you with me!"

"I do so love date night," Cat mused quietly to herself.

"Not now, Mother," Robb said, rounding on Sansa. "Where exactly is your tattoo?"

She didn't even have time to answer before Arya butted in. "Somewhere only Joffrey can see!" she sang, smirking.

Robb and Jon looked at each other, whilst Sansa turned pink and stared at the ceiling.

Ned was turning an outrageous shade of purple, and clutched his chest. "I think I'm going into cardiac arrest."

"It's just teenage rebellion, dear," Cat said nonchalantly.

"Teenage rebellion?" Jon repeated, incredulous. "One of your daughters is cavorting around with that idiot from the Red Keep Blacksmiths and the other is painting gods-know-what on her body and playing peep show with her moronic boyfriend!"

"Hey!" Arya and Sansa cried simultaneously.

"There's no need to get upset, Jon," Cat replied.

"_No need to get upset?"_ Ned and Robb echoed dubiously.

"Well, this is turning into a fun Friday," Arya muttered under her breath.

"Oh, yes," Ned butted in angrily, "because ending up in hospital with a heart attack thanks to my daughters is on the bucket list of every father out there. I'm living the dream, I am."

"I'm living a sodding nightmare," Arya remarked dryly.

"Amen," Sansa said, with feeling.

Robb and Jon glared at the pair of them.


	12. Halo

_Sorry for the delay. Life gets in the way sometimes, hey?_

_Be prepared, this is an extremely soppy, lovey-dovey, happy ending chapter. That 'what if' chapter :)_

_WARNING: lots of profanity in this one._

_Thank you for all your reviews and favs, a girl really appreciates it!_

* * *

"CERSEI, WAIT!"

Cersei whipped around at the sound of her name, shocked to see Robert skidding to a halt in front of her, breathless and looking at her like he just realised what he was throwing away.

"Cers, don't _go_," he said desperately, walking up to her and grabbing her hand, pulling her away from the boarding desk.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, wrenching her arm out of his grasp and frowning at him.

"I'm here because I fucking _love you!_" he replied heatedly, staring fiercely at her.

She felt something leave her body and her shoulders slumped and her stomach dropped and she felt her eyes well up because he actually _said it._

"I have to go, my plane is boarding," she whispered, not knowing what else to say because it was Robert and she couldn't _do_ this, not here, not _now_.

"Fuck your plane! _Listen to me!_"

He pulled her away from the desk once more, getting her as far as he could from that damn door because once she crossed, that was _it_.

A noise emanated from behind Robert and she looked up, unprepared for what she saw. The kids were behind him, having followed him here and were currently staring at her with gods-knew-what in their eyes, holding their breaths. Sansa was gripping Joffrey's hand like a vice, and he was holding her just as hard. Ned had Tommen on his hip and Myrcella was with Cat, and they were all gazing at her with love and pity and sadness and anticipation. Behind them was Robb, Jon and Arya with Bran and Rickon. Jaime had arrived with Tyrion, Brienne and Petyr. Varys was here, even Stannis and Melisandre were here. Everyone was here, watching her about to leave the entire life she had created.

She swallowed hard.

Suddenly, Robert was speaking and the deep undertones of his voice snapped her out of her reverie.

"For years I lived in the belief that I lost the love of my life, and I spent the entirety of our marriage wishing I was somewhere else. But what I didn't realise is that _you _are the love of my life. You gave me three wonderful kids and loved me from the start and all I did was fucking ruin it. I drank myself into oblivion and lived in the darkness."

A tear spilled over and ran down her cheek. "Rob–"

"Let me finish. The truth is, when we were bad, we were bad. But, when we were good, we were fucking _amazing_. And the fucking crazy thing is that you made me so happy that I hardly thought of Lyanna when I was with you. That pissed me off, I admit that now. I felt like all this love that I had given to her should have been savoured, because I invested so much energy and emotion into her that I felt like I owed her something, and that it would be an insult to her memory if I didn't keep my feelings for her alive. But the truth is that I knew in my heart, had she lived, she would never have made me half as happy as you have made me. I felt like if I drank myself stupid, I wouldn't have to accept that I wasn't in love with her. Because I _wasn't_ in love with her, I know that now. I didn't know love until I married you. It just took me twenty fucking years to realise it!"

She stared at him, drinking him in. Her Robert.

Gods, he had changed. The past six months had changed so much in him. He'd stopped drinking, he'd started running… He was tall, muscular, well built… All the fat and drink and wickedness had melted away into the man that she had first fell in love with. It made sensations that she never thought she'd feel again coarse powerfully through her body.

And now he was looking at her in the way she had waited twenty years to see.

"I thought I was in the dark when Lyanna died, but the truth is that the darkness that I'm in without you by my side is a million times worse. Cersei, I love you. I love you the way a man _should_ love a woman. You are the light to my dark, the heart to my soul, the wind to my wings. You give me a reason to live and a reason to love. You are my saving grace, you are my other half, and my better half. And, if you take me back, I will spend _every waking moment_ of my life making sure that you know how much I love you and how lucky I am to have you by my side."

Her cheeks were drenched in tears, and her heart skipped a beat as Robert went down on one knee and pulled out a black velvet box from his pocket, opening it to reveal a platinum diamond ring big enough to sink to the bottom of the ocean with.

He looked at her, _really _looked her, and as she looked back at him she could see him clearly, no fog, no cloud, nothing but him, vulnerable, honest, and baring his soul to her.

"Cersei Lannister, will you marry me, again?"

She looked up to see everyone waiting with bated breath. Even the queue of people behind her, who were waiting to board the plane were staring at them, pausing to see the result of this emotional encounter.

It felt like the whole world had stopped, and was waiting just for her.

Her heart was pounding against her ribcage so hard she thought it was going to burst from her chest. She looked at everyone once again and then back down to Robert, still kneeling.

Robert Baratheon: the man she loved, fathered three children with, hated, divorced and finally fell in love with all over again.

She smiled, a true smile, the one she reserved just for him, and he felt like the sun had come out from a terrible storm to bask everything in its glorious light.

"Yes," she said in soft voice.

The airport lounge erupted in applause and cheering.

Robert let go of the breath he had been holding and beamed back at her, slipping the ring onto her finger and rising to pull her towards him. He enveloped her into his strong arms and kissed her hard, all the love and devotion he was proud to feel for her transcending into the connection of their lips. She smiled against his lips and he picked her up, swinging her around in happiness.

She was dizzy and lightheaded and the cheering was all around her and people were laughing and she was laughing and Robert was laughing and she felt like she'd finally woken up from a hundred year nightmare to feel the grass under her toes and sun on her face.

When Robert finally put her down, he kissed her softly again and leant his forehead against hers, staring at her intently. Her heart beat faster at his gaze and she suddenly felt fifteen again.

Their children were running across the lounge to embrace their reunited parents, and everyone was walking towards them with massive grins on their faces and tears in their eyes.

"_I love you_," Robert whispered against her forehead.

"_I love you too_," she replied back, meaning every word.


	13. So, You Think You Can Dance?

_Been a while since I updated. Apologies!_

* * *

Stannis could only stare at the utter mess that was Jaime.

He was covered in food, his clothes were torn and his left knee was bleeding. A strong smell of wine came off of him in pungent waves and his head was dripping with a suspicious brown liquid.

"What the hell happened?" he finally managed to ask.

Tyrion pressed his lips together, desperately trying not to laugh. "Well, let's put it this way…"

His brother hiccupped loudly, making Varys jump in fright. Tyrion smirked, smoothing down his blazer.

"Jaime definitely does _not_ have moves like Jagger."


	14. Supernatural

_I JUST WANT SOMEONE I CAN TALK TO NON-STOP ABOUT SUPERNATURAL AND FANGIRL OVER JENSEN ACKLES IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK NO I DIDN'T THINK SO_

_I suck with updating lately because it's Christmas and in retail that means selling your soul to work. I spend more time at work than home. No lie._

_So, I developed an obsession with Supernatural in the past month and it's so bad I converted my best friend so now we just sit and watch SPN episodes all night and talk to each other throughout each one._

_This chapter is born from one of those conversations._

_Even I don't understand how my mind works sometimes._

* * *

"I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE, DAMN IT!"

Sansa and Margaery stopped mid-conversation at Daenerys' outburst, blinking stupidly.

"Take what?" Sansa asked, mystified.

"I can't take the hot brothers and the hot angels and their hot bodies and their hot heart-breaking tears and the hot brotherly love and the sexy hair and the sexy men and the-"

"Ah," Margaery said, understanding.

"Ah?" Sansa asked, not understanding.

"Supernatural."

"Ah – dude, have you never seen it before?"

Daenerys stared at her. "No!"

Sansa peered at her. "Have you been living under a rock?"

Margaery giggled, making Daenerys glare at her.

"Everyone has seen it."

"Bull."

"I'm telling you, _everyone_ has seen it."

Daenerys lifted up her chin stubbornly. "Prove it."

"I will."

"I highly doubt that."

Sansa smirked, before turning towards the door. "MUM!"

"Yes, dear?" a voice called from the kitchen.

"SUPERNATURAL?"

"YEEEEEEEESSSSSS!" Cat called back with fangirlish excitement, to Daenerys' incredulity. "DESTIEL FOREVER!"

"Ignore your mother," Ned said nonchalantly as he walked by, reading a book. "Dean and Castiel are simply good friends. They share a special connection. A platonic one."

"Bullshit!"

"Language!"

"DAD'S RIGHT!" a voice shouted from upstairs. "WINCEST ALL THE WAY!"

Dany just stared at Sansa, who was looking back at her with an_ I-told-you-so _look on her face.

"Arya! That's disgusting! They're brothers!"

"HOT BROTHERS, MUM!"

"So, true." A sigh came from the kitchen.

"It's okay, dear," they overheard Ned said, "I'm the John to your Mary."

A giggle emanated from the kitchen.

"Okay, officially weirded out!" Daenerys held up her hands.


End file.
